The Primordial Origins of FISH

 

The Invincible Billy began by searching for an entry-level position in marketing somewhere (to get his foot in the door), and stumbled across the American Superheroes Guild (ASG), which was funded in part by the Federal Integrated Subsidy for Heroes (FISH). "I can crack walnuts with my fingers," he told Dudley Briggs, the representative they'd sent to speak with him. "And I can play an entire tune on a blade of grass, not just one note." He played Habanera: L'amour est un oisseau rebelle from Georges Bizet's Carmen. He paid particular attention to the dynamics of the piece.

"Is there anything else you can do?" asked Dudley Briggs, and clicked his pen.

They hired The Invincible Billy despite the failed interview, with a humble warning that the crime rate was not what it used to be, and that making quota could prove challenging. "Wear a cape," said Dudley Briggs. "Capes are good for morale. And please, for the sake of taxes, keep a close record of your expenditures."

This, to The Invincible Billy, included emotional and psychological expenditure. So he opened a file on his record of the unusual love stories he witnessed by virtue of his supernatural abilities. He recorded them as a series of drawings, in an effort to keep his tax records concise. And he struggled constantly with salary negotiations.

"You're in a tough spot," I told him once over a beer. "They never actually asked any superheroes to defend the city. It's really more of a public works project."

"True," said The Invincible Billy, and nodded. When we left, Billy hovered over the puddles, and crouched like a very old man over the cracks in the sidewalk to collect the good blades of grass.